Trapped in my own Sweet Ending
by Midnight Sapphires
Summary: Set right after Edward leaves Bella in the woods. There will be no four months of emptiness here. The emptiness will be filled with desires just as forbidden as the old ones, equally as dangerous. Time for Bella to react instead of hiding from the pain.
1. Disclaimer

DISCLAIMER

I figured I would just make my entire life easier and put the disclaimer as the first chapter. There are a few things I think need explained before the story.

First: I don't own any of the Twilight Saga. I do have a copy of New Moon and of Breaking Dawn, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count. Stephenie Meyer is a fantastic author and she fully rocks at what she does.

Second: This story is mostly based on my personal experiences. If Bella were the same kind of person I am, her reaction would be…well…this story. At some point, there will probably be all kinds of fun questions floating around in your brains. All I'd like to say is: ask away. I won't be offended.

Third: This is in regards to the second thing. Once you figure out where the story is headed, which shouldn't take too many chapters, please keep the comments not insulting. The way I look at life is: nobody knows what anybody else goes through. Please don't judge lives you haven't lived.

Fourth: Um… I actually think that's it. The first actual chapter will be up in a day or two. Promise!


	2. Alone

_a/n: This is slightly a recap of what Edward says to Bella in the woods. However, I'm changing the words a bit to better fit my story. Also, the story will be written from Bella's point of view, just like in the book._

"Will you go for a walk with me?" he asked, holding out one icy hand. I took it without thinking about what could happen next. But then, it was hard to think at all with him standing there. He started off toward the woods, and I stumbled trying to keep up. That was strange. Usually, my angel was more conscious of my human limitations.

"Edward," I began, as soon as we had cleared the trees. "There's something I wanted to tell you."

He looked deep into my brown eyes with his clear golden ones. "Go ahead. My news can wait."

I took a slow breath, trying to find the words I'd need to say it. "Well… you know that I love you. You also know that I- I want to be… like you. A vampire. But you need to hear one more thing. My life will never be anything without you again. I've needed you like a drug since the moment I first laid eyes on you. Nothing can ever change that." I stopped and looked up, expecting a gentle smile, or even a smirk at how silly he thought I was being. Instead, I got a clenched jaw and a new layer of… darkness looking at me through his eyes.

"Really, Bella? You really want to be a blood sucking monster like me? You know what we're capable of. You've seen the damage we can do. And… no. No, I can't keep this up any longer," were the words that tumbled from his perfect lips. It sounded as though he were talking to himself. Yet, I needed to know. "Can't keep what up?"

Which was clearly the wrong question to ask. The next thing I knew, I was being pushed into a tree with a branch digging into my elbow. "Edward… please just tell me…"

"Bella, I simply cannot pretend that I love you any longer. It's over and done with. Our worlds were never meant to collide this way. It has to stop." All of that was said with a calm face, not a single twitch to say he was lying. Even after pouring my heart out, I was going to lose him.

"Why, Edward? I thought you loved me, or at the very least cared about me. When did you stop?" I knew the tears were rolling down my cheeks, but I couldn't care less. All I cared about was the fact that my only love was going to leave me… forever. That hadn't been on my list of things I could live through. I was now clutching the tree I'd been pushed into, willing myself to stop crying. "Pretend?" was all I could manage to say between choking sobs.

"Yes, Bella, pretend. Can you at least _try_ to keep up? How could you have ever thought you'd be good enough for me? I didn't think you were nearly that stupid." He wasn't even looking at me anymore, like my tears revolted him. So everything I'd feared was true. He had never loved me, not for a minute. But then…

"Why did you even bother pretending? If you were just going to end up hurting me like this?" I demanded, feeling anger of my own fighting to the surface. At that, he began to smirk. "Silly Bella, you were a game! One of the funnest games I ever played," and with that, he winked. THAT BITCH WINKED AT ME!!! "Actually… I was wondering if I could take one last turn before I leave…?"

"NO! Why would I let you 'take one last turn'? I do have _some_ self respect!" After all the lies, he still thought I'd be his? Still believed I'd melt in his sculpted arms. Get lost in his gorgeous topaz eyes… sweeter than honey… and for some reason they were getting lighter with laughter.

"Ha ha… Bella, you never had self respect! I was just sneaky enough to make you believe you weren't being treated like a slut. Walking around with your shirt unbuttoned past your bra… and you wonder why Mike won't back off! Pathetic," the last word was nothing but a growl. I flinched, genuinely afraid of him for the first time in my life. There was only one thing left for me to do: beg. "I'm sorry, Edward, so sorry. I didn't know…"

He turned away from me. "Goodbye Bella. Forever. Don't worry about ever seeing me again," and he left me. All alone in the woods, without ever looking back. My Edward, my only love, was gone. All my frozen brain could think to do was follow him into the silent woods. Darkness descended, furthering hindering my teary vision. The stars were the only ones to witness as my legs finally gave out. I stared up into the never ending emptiness of the heavens, wishing it would find a way into my broken heart.

_a/n: First chapter, my apologies for it taking so long. I had a killer English paper to write. Other apologies: the movie reference about Bella's shirt being unbuttoned & how it got slightly poetic at the end. Next chapter will be up as soon as I write it!_


	3. Broken

_a/n: I'm so sorry this took forever. Two weeks ago I had midterms, and then this past week there was a massive English project I had to finish. Apologies to anyone trying to follow this story, and I promise to update sooner. Mostly because I've been off of school for three days now. Yay for boredom!_

It didn't. The emptiness kept its distance, leaving me to my pain. My world was gone forever and I could think of nothing else. So absorbed was I in glorious memories, I failed to hear the search party hours later. Each time my name was called, the sound warped into his silky voice as it hurtled through the trees. Nothing I did would make it stop. Not sleep, not crying, not begging for an end to this infinite torturous idea of "alone".

Eventually, one of them found me huddled amongst the dead leaves. For one heart-stopping moment, I thought he'd come back for me after all. I realized I was wrong when whoever it was picked me up and rumbled "It'll all be okay, Bella." My heart shattered all over again, and I started to wonder if it would ever stop. I forced myself to stop thinking as the house came into view. There was no way Charlie could see me like this without running for his gun. I wouldn't put it past him to hunt down-

"Oh my God, Bella!" Charlie ran towards my mystery savior. "Jake, is she okay? Is she still alive? God, what am I going to tell Renee?" Jacob was my rescuer? Huh. The boy must have put on some muscle. This time, I tried to pay attention when he spoke. "Calm down, Charlie. I think she's fine. Probably just tired. Bastard must have left her in there hours ago..." Hours. I'd been gone for hours. It felt like days, months even. There were so many memories still floating around in my brain. I wanted them out, but it would have to wait. Jacob was putting me into bed. He piled on the blankets and left with a whispered, "I wish there was something I could do. Call me if you need some company." I burrowed into the blankets and let the tears fall until morning.

As the sun rose behind the ever-present rain clouds, I stumbled off to the shower. My eyes were swollen, and my head was pounding from trying to keep thoughts out. It was likely a very fuzzy brain that decided it'd be a good idea to go make Charlie breakfast. I'd half forgotten how worried he was the previous night. Of course there'd be an awkward question waiting for me over eggs and bacon.

As I was carrying our plates to the table, he looked up and said good morning. I did my best to avoid his eyes, knowing he'd be frightened by what he saw there. After hearing my mumbled response he shrugged and dug into breakfast. When he finished he sat back and sighed, then stared at me as I pushed food around on my plate with my fork. He started toying with his fork, before asking,"So ah... are you... well, ya know... okay?"

I knew he wasn't ready for the truth. The thought that I'd never be okay; there was no recovering from such an acute pain as this. My every thought was like a razor across my chest, and avoiding thought wasn't an option. So I fudged my answer a little bit.

"Not really. But don't worry too much. I'm sure I'll be fine soon enough." Okay, maybe I fudged it a lot. But what else could I do? Charlie would never understand what I was really going through. This went beyond normal heartbreak. It was more like losing half of my soul, my life, my everything. He was always there to take the best in me and make it shine. Then, like a stake to the heart, he'd killed it. I felt like there was nothing left in me worth having. No beauty, no happiness, and not enough love for anyone else. It all belonged to him.

Charlie looked up from the fork, trying to search my eyes. I kept my head down, not wanting to alarm him. He sighed again, decided my answer was good enough, and got up from the table. "Well, if you'd like to stay home for the day, that's alright. I know it might be hard to deal with everyone asking where Edw- uh, the Cu- hrm, um, well where they went."

His words were painful, but I forced myself to look up and plaster a smile on my face. I'm sure it was weak, but he looked relieved. "That's okay Dad. I think it'll do me good to see people. Actually, I have a calculus test today so I'm going to go a little early. I'll see you when I get home." He smiled and said, "Okay Bells. See you later."

Somehow, I made it to school in one piece. It was tight after I pulled into an awesome spot that I realized just how early I was. There was nobody else in the parking lot. I was all alone with my thoughts...

_a/n: Again, sorry this took so long! Hopefully, I'm done with huge school projects for a while. Three day weekend starting tomorrow, which leaves me oodles of time to write. I'm dateless for the King of Hearts dance, which leaves me oodles of heartbreak inspiration. Oh, and I'd just like to point out that I'm keeping Bella her dramatic self in this chapter because it'll make what eventually happens a bit less shocking. Until I have the next chapter up reviews = love!_


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